And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
