I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
