p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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