Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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