I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
