Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
