No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
