You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
