White coat. Heels.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
