I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize