Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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