it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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