but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize