omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
wow bdsm is so cute
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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