i need an iv and a liver transplant
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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