Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
