As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
