her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
