I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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