Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
