Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
