He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
