Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
