did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
