that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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