So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize