Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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