People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
