We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
smell my finger.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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