You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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