Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
