Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
