Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize