Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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