what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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