At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
