I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
