I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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