using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i will never coherently bang her
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
