omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize