Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
