Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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