if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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