how can u be prego again
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
