OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
