If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
