big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
