i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
My liver just broke up with me...
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
