If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Never joke about your clitoris.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
