Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
