Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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