She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
