Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize