Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize