I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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