That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize