I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
i think im in europe. pls send help
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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