you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
