I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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