May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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