I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
