why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
