He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Randomize
