And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
