My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
My vagina is officially offended.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
