No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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