i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
