Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
