i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize