i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
