bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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