my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Randomize
