He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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