we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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