Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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