So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
