I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
